Christmas 2011

 Isaiah 9:6-7

 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this."

  

This is our first Christmas celebration after what happened last year. Last year and the other years that passed Our family, specially us, the kids were always excited when you say "Christmas", it meant to us as fun, games and of course food and gifts. But this year was a big difference for our family. For me personally, it is a big change now that our little kid is not around with us at this season where family is having fun together. Before, I have in mind already what to prepare and what to do when Christmas Eve comes but now, I could find myself walking around at the same spot of food section in the grocery many times, just looking, undecided of what to buy and prepare for the family. These past days, I was telling to myself what if i could just skip this day? But somehow, I have to face reality and this is reality now.  But to make the story short, we were still able to celebrate Christmas at home. Thanking GOD despite of ALL the things that happened to our family and to me personally. 

Well, though our family really feels that we are not complete but GOD provided people to come and celebrate with us. One of my "Kuyas" (Older brother) with his family came that day. They brought their son who is 7 years old. The whole family suddenly had laughter and joy. This kid reminded us so much but not much (hehe..) with my little brother. We were able to teased him and played with him on Christmas Eve and made little games and gifts. 

Life still has to go on. Though I wish that he was still here but I can't do that. GOD has it's own purposes for doing this things to us, though I may not understand them, I know I will at the right time. But for now, remembering how our Saviour was born in the manger is the center for this season. :)

Pictures that time:

Luke, playing with TJ.

Christmas Eve with Kuya Ronald's family.

Mama, Papa and TJ.

Me, Luke and Hannah with TJ on Christmas Day, after church.

Sharing His Love

 These are some pictures of the first Christmas party we had last Dec. 17 started around 9am til 4pm. There were 30+ students who came that day. Two of my friends from Mercy came along and helped us with the kids and games. We were also able to serve them with lunch. Thanking GOD and to all those friends who shared their financial blessings to be use that day and as this ministry continues.

Kids taking a pose with Papa and Mama.

Mama sharing the true meaning of Christmas

Kids looking for the clue. Treasure Hunting.

Jamie, helping kids memorize the verse.

Salome, praying for lunch.

Salome, helped in serving lunch.

Me, posing at the prepared food for kids.

Kids, posing with their meals.

Leading a game after they had lunch.

Longest line.

Kiat-Kiat (little oranges) bobbing.

We had a great and fun time that day with the kids. They received gifts and lots of prizes plus gotten to know Jesus better.

Midwifery, Joyce and Angel

When my job of being a midwife sink into my mind and heart, I knew that this is not just a job.. it is a calling. As I was starting to see birth complications and handle things on my own without a senior supervisor beside me I knew and realize that I am going to handle a big responsibility. Life and life!

Last friday, I was on night shift with ate Joy. We had a patient named Joyce who was endorsed to us from swing shift. Jamie was extending a couple hours in taking care of her so she was not endorsed to anyone of the night shift for 2 hours. But since it's getting late Jamie's sleepy and she's still has no signs of labor, so Jamie endorse her to night shift and ate Joy took her since I have a labor also. Joyce started to push around 2pm. It was really a hard and long pushing. After more than an hour, Joyce gave birth, the baby cried but after few seconds the baby started to turn blue and having a weak cry. We deep suctioned the baby and did PPV (Positive Pressure Ventilation) as well to help the baby to breath but she gets worse as minutes passed, so we decided to transport her and refer to the hospital. I left them at the Pedia ER with a nurse who is looking after the baby already with the baby's father and Joyce's aunt.

After 2 hours the Joyce's husband came back and reported that their baby did not survived and died. Andro was asking us for help to explain and tell Joyce what happened. So when Andro and ate Joy told her while she's at the postpartum bed,I just knew that she know it already through the burst of her cry. I really felt so bad at that point because of the "what if's" and things that could have done earlier for that patient and her baby.

That was my first time experience for almost 4 years of being a midwife. I thought at that time that what if I was not called to be a midwife? I would not have experienced feelings of guilt or taking responsibility of someone else's life other than my family's BUT I guess I am not just a midwife by profession, but a midwife in spirit. I am not only called to be midwife physically, help mothers deliver their babies BUT also assisting spiritual birth and helping newborn Christians know GOD more.

That incident gave me the chance to be more connected to our patients. To give care not just with their pregnancy but also with their spiritual needs. After everything was settled with Joyce's place we were able to visit their house, comforted their family with our presence and our prayers. And assured them than there is a life after death and that though it was such a short time there baby "Angel" is in GOD's hands. Safe from all the corrupt things of this world.

Everytime situations like this come, since my little brother passed away, every child that dies I would often think that he's got more playmates up there right now and more saved souls that's praising GOD with him. Eternally saved, and forever with their Creator.

YOU are everything I need!

As I was listening to this song, I was meditating every lyrics and reminded by how useless I am without my Savior, Creator and Father. I hope you find yourself inspired with this song, too. 

I am more than Conquerors!

‎
"The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand."


I trusted GOD and thanked HIM so much for giving me a family, though not perfect according to the world's standard but it's a perfect one for me. Living in one house, serving, obeying and trusting GOD together, encouraging and lifting up to GOD what He's  directing us to do. To "obey GOD" is our united goal and leave all the consequences to HIM". Though imperfection isn't absent, but each of us is learning.

For the past five years I thought I have been overcoming ups and downs with my family yet so blessed while gaining all the lessons on different situations GOD allowed us to encounter. I thought that I have experienced and overcame the worst situation GOD could allow us to experience but I guess it was not just that. There came a very heavy storm. A storm I thought will not happen to my family in the next 20 years. I guess it's not just love that comes unexpectedly, its trials too.

The day his body was buried, I felt that a part of me was buried too and could no longer live. This past 3 weeks was the hardest time for me after the loss of my youngest brother. The longingness that I felt was very strong that I could not bear it  myself. Sleepless and crying nights and even waking up in the morning makes me cry. The first thing that comes to my mind when I woke up is living the rest of my life, thinking that a part of me is missing. He was one of the two best brothers for me. Even though I still have Luke and my sister Hannah, Derek taught me a lot of good things while he was still alive. Though he was still young, his innocence left me lessons which I will be grateful to GOD for the rest of my life.

I continue to wage war against all the negative thoughts the enemy has been putting in my mind. Thoughts of discouragement and disappointments. Blaming GOD for what happened which He could have stopped and save Derek, and for all these ill-feelings that I thought I would never feel. It's really true that the saddest is not during the wake but the next coming days of your life without that loved one.


But just this Sunday, GOD taught me to lay all of these at HIS feet. Allow HIM wholly to be in control again  of my life, which I was taking over for the last months because I was so angry at HIM for taking my little brother so early. I was so bitter that I am not going to be with him for the rest of my life, that I could not see him grow up and see his dreams fulfilled, and see what he looks like for the next 5 or 10 years or more. HE let me feel that no matter how I kept on pushing HIM away HE'll always wrap HIS arms around me and comfort me. HIS eternal words caused me to realize never to cease praying and believing that "all things work together for good for those who love GOD . . . and that HIS plans for me is not to harm me but to give me a hope and a future". I continue to stand in HIS word that we are more than conquerors for those who are in Christ Jesus.


Prayer Request:

1. Continued strength and comfort to me and my family.
2. Guidance towards the ministry we are starting right now with the kids specially to my parents who are the
    frontliners and leaders.
3. Financial provision in the ministry
4. Ministry partners.
5. Guidance and provision for my Discipleship Training School with YWAM (possible) next year.


Info regarding YWAM:
Pls visit www.ywamatc.org 


or contact me via my email: vania_livin4jesus@yahoo.com

The Importance of Waiting

“Let patience have her perfect work.” James 1:4

Have you been asking God, “Why do I have to wait so long?” If so, here are four important things you need to know: (1) Waiting trains you. Time spent waiting can be time spent learning. And if you’re learning, you’re not losing. God will train you for battle because He’s a good general. “Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle” (Ps 144:1 NIV). (2) Waiting corrects you. The Psalmist wrote: “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word” (Ps 119:67 NKJV). Pain can be profitable. Adversity can lead to spiritual advancement if you’re willing to glean from it. Pain forces you to look to God for answers, to lean on Him instead of others, to learn where you went astray, to hunger for His presence and His healing touch, to listen for His instructions and be sensitive to the changes He wants to bring about in your life. Yes, you can turn your pain into progress. (3) Waiting reveals those around you. Motives are not easily discerned. Trust God, but test people. That’s scriptural. “The Lord your God led you …forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart” (Dt 8:2 NIV). People can keep their intentions and motives covered for a long time, but waiting generally forces the truth to the surface. (4) Waiting gives God time to solve the problem. He’s a miracle-working God, so don’t get ahead of Him and rob Him of the opportunity to demonstrate His power in your life.

 -As i was looking for a perfect devotional online, I passed by to this from Word for you today. And it made me think how long has it been since I received GOD's Word and confirmation that I am going to do missions and will soon undergo a missionary training. And the waiting period has given me different kinds of experiences, let me stress that as overwhelming experiences. These waiting season of my life has been both ups and downs, specially in my spiritual life. But GOD continues to lift me up whenever I fall down. HE continues to remind me that He will never leave me nor forsake me ( Hebrews 13:5). That whatever happens, nothing can ever separate me from HIS love (Romans 8:38).

This waiting season strengthened me through trials. Corrected a lot of weaknesses in my life and still correcting me. Shown me good friends who are with me, inspired me to go on and fight for what GOD has planned for me, shared their wisdom, and stayed with me and understand me through the worst moments. And appreciated my family more, their support and wisdom has been a big help to me. And though sometimes I would ask HIM when and why does it taking so long, He would again remind me that He has determined the exact time and place I should live my life ( Acts 17:26).

Crushed and broken for a purpose.

Are you going through hard times lately? Maybe recently you've been having a hard time with your studies, jobs, co-worker, classmates or a family member or you've been dealing with a death of someone so close to you? or maybe you think that there's nothing good in life that can happen to you.

Whatever you're dealing right now, I want you to know that you're not alone. All of us or most of us have been dealing with problems, big or small but there is always something good that comes out from every tough spot that we're in right now.

One example is JESUS CHRIST, HE experienced hard times too.. on the night before HE was crucified. While in the Garden of Gethsemane,HE asked the FATHER if what HE is about to go could be taken away from HIM, but HE had to decide to go through it and obey HIS FATHER's will. (Matt. 26:36-42)

And we know that in all things,

GOD works together for the good 

of those who love HIM 

who have been called 

according to HIS purpose.

Rom. 8:28

This is usually one of the key scriptures for Christians when we go through hard and disappointing times. For the past 5 months I have been clinging to this word as HIS promise not just to me but also to my family since my little brother went back to Heaven.Though things does not happen in our life the way we want it to be, we can always believe in GOD that HE will work things out for good.

I remember how grapes becomes red wine, it needs to be crushed and pressed for it to become a delicious wine and the pearl, there should be dirt so pearls will be formed. 

For the past months I've been struggling with longingness. Missing my little brother so much lately is very strong. But no matter how many times I cried,GOD tell me to cling to HIM and believe in HIM that there is always dancing after mourning and joy after sorrow. I believe he is safer with HIM up there now. :)