Christmas 2011

 Isaiah 9:6-7

 "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this."

  

This is our first Christmas celebration after what happened last year. Last year and the other years that passed Our family, specially us, the kids were always excited when you say "Christmas", it meant to us as fun, games and of course food and gifts. But this year was a big difference for our family. For me personally, it is a big change now that our little kid is not around with us at this season where family is having fun together. Before, I have in mind already what to prepare and what to do when Christmas Eve comes but now, I could find myself walking around at the same spot of food section in the grocery many times, just looking, undecided of what to buy and prepare for the family. These past days, I was telling to myself what if i could just skip this day? But somehow, I have to face reality and this is reality now.  But to make the story short, we were still able to celebrate Christmas at home. Thanking GOD despite of ALL the things that happened to our family and to me personally. 

Well, though our family really feels that we are not complete but GOD provided people to come and celebrate with us. One of my "Kuyas" (Older brother) with his family came that day. They brought their son who is 7 years old. The whole family suddenly had laughter and joy. This kid reminded us so much but not much (hehe..) with my little brother. We were able to teased him and played with him on Christmas Eve and made little games and gifts. 

Life still has to go on. Though I wish that he was still here but I can't do that. GOD has it's own purposes for doing this things to us, though I may not understand them, I know I will at the right time. But for now, remembering how our Saviour was born in the manger is the center for this season. :)

Pictures that time:

Luke, playing with TJ.

Christmas Eve with Kuya Ronald's family.

Mama, Papa and TJ.

Me, Luke and Hannah with TJ on Christmas Day, after church.

Sharing His Love

 These are some pictures of the first Christmas party we had last Dec. 17 started around 9am til 4pm. There were 30+ students who came that day. Two of my friends from Mercy came along and helped us with the kids and games. We were also able to serve them with lunch. Thanking GOD and to all those friends who shared their financial blessings to be use that day and as this ministry continues.

Kids taking a pose with Papa and Mama.

Mama sharing the true meaning of Christmas

Kids looking for the clue. Treasure Hunting.

Jamie, helping kids memorize the verse.

Salome, praying for lunch.

Salome, helped in serving lunch.

Me, posing at the prepared food for kids.

Kids, posing with their meals.

Leading a game after they had lunch.

Longest line.

Kiat-Kiat (little oranges) bobbing.

We had a great and fun time that day with the kids. They received gifts and lots of prizes plus gotten to know Jesus better.

Midwifery, Joyce and Angel

When my job of being a midwife sink into my mind and heart, I knew that this is not just a job.. it is a calling. As I was starting to see birth complications and handle things on my own without a senior supervisor beside me I knew and realize that I am going to handle a big responsibility. Life and life!

Last friday, I was on night shift with ate Joy. We had a patient named Joyce who was endorsed to us from swing shift. Jamie was extending a couple hours in taking care of her so she was not endorsed to anyone of the night shift for 2 hours. But since it's getting late Jamie's sleepy and she's still has no signs of labor, so Jamie endorse her to night shift and ate Joy took her since I have a labor also. Joyce started to push around 2pm. It was really a hard and long pushing. After more than an hour, Joyce gave birth, the baby cried but after few seconds the baby started to turn blue and having a weak cry. We deep suctioned the baby and did PPV (Positive Pressure Ventilation) as well to help the baby to breath but she gets worse as minutes passed, so we decided to transport her and refer to the hospital. I left them at the Pedia ER with a nurse who is looking after the baby already with the baby's father and Joyce's aunt.

After 2 hours the Joyce's husband came back and reported that their baby did not survived and died. Andro was asking us for help to explain and tell Joyce what happened. So when Andro and ate Joy told her while she's at the postpartum bed,I just knew that she know it already through the burst of her cry. I really felt so bad at that point because of the "what if's" and things that could have done earlier for that patient and her baby.

That was my first time experience for almost 4 years of being a midwife. I thought at that time that what if I was not called to be a midwife? I would not have experienced feelings of guilt or taking responsibility of someone else's life other than my family's BUT I guess I am not just a midwife by profession, but a midwife in spirit. I am not only called to be midwife physically, help mothers deliver their babies BUT also assisting spiritual birth and helping newborn Christians know GOD more.

That incident gave me the chance to be more connected to our patients. To give care not just with their pregnancy but also with their spiritual needs. After everything was settled with Joyce's place we were able to visit their house, comforted their family with our presence and our prayers. And assured them than there is a life after death and that though it was such a short time there baby "Angel" is in GOD's hands. Safe from all the corrupt things of this world.

Everytime situations like this come, since my little brother passed away, every child that dies I would often think that he's got more playmates up there right now and more saved souls that's praising GOD with him. Eternally saved, and forever with their Creator.

YOU are everything I need!

As I was listening to this song, I was meditating every lyrics and reminded by how useless I am without my Savior, Creator and Father. I hope you find yourself inspired with this song, too. 

I am more than Conquerors!

‎
"The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand."


I trusted GOD and thanked HIM so much for giving me a family, though not perfect according to the world's standard but it's a perfect one for me. Living in one house, serving, obeying and trusting GOD together, encouraging and lifting up to GOD what He's  directing us to do. To "obey GOD" is our united goal and leave all the consequences to HIM". Though imperfection isn't absent, but each of us is learning.

For the past five years I thought I have been overcoming ups and downs with my family yet so blessed while gaining all the lessons on different situations GOD allowed us to encounter. I thought that I have experienced and overcame the worst situation GOD could allow us to experience but I guess it was not just that. There came a very heavy storm. A storm I thought will not happen to my family in the next 20 years. I guess it's not just love that comes unexpectedly, its trials too.

The day his body was buried, I felt that a part of me was buried too and could no longer live. This past 3 weeks was the hardest time for me after the loss of my youngest brother. The longingness that I felt was very strong that I could not bear it  myself. Sleepless and crying nights and even waking up in the morning makes me cry. The first thing that comes to my mind when I woke up is living the rest of my life, thinking that a part of me is missing. He was one of the two best brothers for me. Even though I still have Luke and my sister Hannah, Derek taught me a lot of good things while he was still alive. Though he was still young, his innocence left me lessons which I will be grateful to GOD for the rest of my life.

I continue to wage war against all the negative thoughts the enemy has been putting in my mind. Thoughts of discouragement and disappointments. Blaming GOD for what happened which He could have stopped and save Derek, and for all these ill-feelings that I thought I would never feel. It's really true that the saddest is not during the wake but the next coming days of your life without that loved one.


But just this Sunday, GOD taught me to lay all of these at HIS feet. Allow HIM wholly to be in control again  of my life, which I was taking over for the last months because I was so angry at HIM for taking my little brother so early. I was so bitter that I am not going to be with him for the rest of my life, that I could not see him grow up and see his dreams fulfilled, and see what he looks like for the next 5 or 10 years or more. HE let me feel that no matter how I kept on pushing HIM away HE'll always wrap HIS arms around me and comfort me. HIS eternal words caused me to realize never to cease praying and believing that "all things work together for good for those who love GOD . . . and that HIS plans for me is not to harm me but to give me a hope and a future". I continue to stand in HIS word that we are more than conquerors for those who are in Christ Jesus.


Prayer Request:

1. Continued strength and comfort to me and my family.
2. Guidance towards the ministry we are starting right now with the kids specially to my parents who are the
    frontliners and leaders.
3. Financial provision in the ministry
4. Ministry partners.
5. Guidance and provision for my Discipleship Training School with YWAM (possible) next year.


Info regarding YWAM:
Pls visit www.ywamatc.org 


or contact me via my email: vania_livin4jesus@yahoo.com

The Importance of Waiting

“Let patience have her perfect work.” James 1:4

Have you been asking God, “Why do I have to wait so long?” If so, here are four important things you need to know: (1) Waiting trains you. Time spent waiting can be time spent learning. And if you’re learning, you’re not losing. God will train you for battle because He’s a good general. “Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle” (Ps 144:1 NIV). (2) Waiting corrects you. The Psalmist wrote: “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word” (Ps 119:67 NKJV). Pain can be profitable. Adversity can lead to spiritual advancement if you’re willing to glean from it. Pain forces you to look to God for answers, to lean on Him instead of others, to learn where you went astray, to hunger for His presence and His healing touch, to listen for His instructions and be sensitive to the changes He wants to bring about in your life. Yes, you can turn your pain into progress. (3) Waiting reveals those around you. Motives are not easily discerned. Trust God, but test people. That’s scriptural. “The Lord your God led you …forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart” (Dt 8:2 NIV). People can keep their intentions and motives covered for a long time, but waiting generally forces the truth to the surface. (4) Waiting gives God time to solve the problem. He’s a miracle-working God, so don’t get ahead of Him and rob Him of the opportunity to demonstrate His power in your life.

 -As i was looking for a perfect devotional online, I passed by to this from Word for you today. And it made me think how long has it been since I received GOD's Word and confirmation that I am going to do missions and will soon undergo a missionary training. And the waiting period has given me different kinds of experiences, let me stress that as overwhelming experiences. These waiting season of my life has been both ups and downs, specially in my spiritual life. But GOD continues to lift me up whenever I fall down. HE continues to remind me that He will never leave me nor forsake me ( Hebrews 13:5). That whatever happens, nothing can ever separate me from HIS love (Romans 8:38).

This waiting season strengthened me through trials. Corrected a lot of weaknesses in my life and still correcting me. Shown me good friends who are with me, inspired me to go on and fight for what GOD has planned for me, shared their wisdom, and stayed with me and understand me through the worst moments. And appreciated my family more, their support and wisdom has been a big help to me. And though sometimes I would ask HIM when and why does it taking so long, He would again remind me that He has determined the exact time and place I should live my life ( Acts 17:26).

Crushed and broken for a purpose.

Are you going through hard times lately? Maybe recently you've been having a hard time with your studies, jobs, co-worker, classmates or a family member or you've been dealing with a death of someone so close to you? or maybe you think that there's nothing good in life that can happen to you.

Whatever you're dealing right now, I want you to know that you're not alone. All of us or most of us have been dealing with problems, big or small but there is always something good that comes out from every tough spot that we're in right now.

One example is JESUS CHRIST, HE experienced hard times too.. on the night before HE was crucified. While in the Garden of Gethsemane,HE asked the FATHER if what HE is about to go could be taken away from HIM, but HE had to decide to go through it and obey HIS FATHER's will. (Matt. 26:36-42)

And we know that in all things,

GOD works together for the good 

of those who love HIM 

who have been called 

according to HIS purpose.

Rom. 8:28

This is usually one of the key scriptures for Christians when we go through hard and disappointing times. For the past 5 months I have been clinging to this word as HIS promise not just to me but also to my family since my little brother went back to Heaven.Though things does not happen in our life the way we want it to be, we can always believe in GOD that HE will work things out for good.

I remember how grapes becomes red wine, it needs to be crushed and pressed for it to become a delicious wine and the pearl, there should be dirt so pearls will be formed. 

For the past months I've been struggling with longingness. Missing my little brother so much lately is very strong. But no matter how many times I cried,GOD tell me to cling to HIM and believe in HIM that there is always dancing after mourning and joy after sorrow. I believe he is safer with HIM up there now. :)

The Busiest Shift I had!

So far this month, I experienced the busiest shift I ever had for the past 3 years of working as a midwife at Mercy Maternity Center. Before coming on shift yesterday night, I was praying to GOD that HE will give me a slow shift because I was really so tired but I guess this is one of those days that GOD is testing my character. I came at the birthroom with 4 labors endorsed to us plus a postpartum. With only 3 people on  who are catching, me, Michaela and Jacquiline with Salome who is still a first year and still needs to assist more births before catching under a Supervisor's close supervision. But praise GOD that one of the girls, Lincey volunteered to work with us that night eventhough she was not on schedule plus with Hannah whose continuity (a special patient who you've known for a long time or  close to you, relative or referred to you by a friend which you wanted to deliver her baby) is in active labor.

L-R: Hannah, Me, Jacquie, Lincey, Michae and Salome

The night was very busy. Jacquiline was first up and her patient delivered right after endorsements. After an hour Hannah's cont started to push and delivered within a couple of minutes followed by  Michaela's. My labor started to get active too, as she's G3 and could deliver fast. I immediately went to her cubicle and check on her, but she started pushing and had ruptured of bag of water. She started to push with a very fast progress, head was visible immediately. She was suppose to be Jacquie's second catch but since she's still with her patient who just delivered an hour ago, she needs to be with her  and so I took over so she could take care of her immediate postpartum for a little longer. But right after my patient delivered her baby, Michaela came in and told that she just checked in a very active labor which is premature according to her dates. I immediately instructed her to refer the patient even though she told that she felt hard fetal head when she did IE to the patient. Surprisingly while waiting for my patient's placenta to come out, Michae was shouting, calling my name at the postpartum area (we have to use the extra bed at the other side as our birthroom was full) saying that her patient started pushing and head was visible. So she delivered her second catch, and praising GOD that the baby looked term even though her record stated that she's premature. Then a labor came in and Lincey had her. Jacquie's second labor started to push as with Lincey's but after an hour pushing of Jacquie's patient was transported to SPMC* due to maternal exhaustion, long pushing and slow progress. And just as Jacquie came from transporting the patient, another labor came in who was also in active phase of her labor. That time Lincey's patient just delivered.

The baby I caught that night.

So, for the record we have 6 babies in 8 hours and the 2 remaining labors which was also taking cared by Jacquie and Michae had there babies right after our endorsement. So technically, we almost had 8 babies on that shift.

That night was so exhausting and yet so full of joy and FUN, not that I had the busiest and craziest shift so far in being a midwife and a supervisor but I was working with these wonderful ladies who really are an inspiration and a blessing to me. As well as being able to see new lives came to earth "officially". We are all beaming that night, laughing at each other even though we wanted to go to our beds already.

GOD has been teaching me lately that despite of all the bad things in life that has been happening around, I have to fix my eyes on and continue to trust HIM.


'My dear children! I feel as if I'm going through labour pains for you... and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives' (Galatians 4:19 NLT)

Friends that inspired me

                             A friend of mine, Miranda came for a 3-day visit here in Davao. She was on Amber's class and should be graduating with them but GOD has a different plan for her, and now she continues to finish her midwifery studies at Shiprah Birthing Home in Taytay, Rizal.
                             Her life has inspired me this past 2 years. She has been through a lot of trials but I've seen that GOD gave her the strength to stand out against all trials and fought for her calling. She has a passionate heart for GOD and compassionate heart for the people who needs to know HIM.

                           It has been so nice to see her here in Davao after we visited her last summer in Taytay. I spent time with her, maybe for the last time :(, with her class in Canibad resort, Samal. I was glad to see her with her class as they are leaving already for good a month from now.
                              It was also my first time in Canibad and appreciated so much GOD's works through nature. This time was memorable for me and allowed me to get to know Amber's class and Jenna's brothers and friends who are also visiting her.
                              These girls inspired me so much these past 2 years and has gotten to know them. They were there during the lowest days of my life encourage and prayed for me and my family. Their lives remind me of GOD's faithfulness, provision and goodness through it all.

Death... Birth...

                                                  " Let the little children come to me, 

and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven

 belongs to such as these. "
(Mark 10:14)

                   This was the verse my Papa received from GOD during those time of great anguish, weeping and sorrow three months ago. An assurance that Derek, my little brother,  is with HIM.

                  June 12 was my little brother's  40^th day since he left for Heaven.  It is a Filipino tradition (with RCs) that during this day the bereaved family have a prayer for the person who died because they believe that his/her soul is still here on earth up to the 40^th day and  the soul will then face judgement. Our family being Christ-centered and Bible-believing do not adhere to this Spanish influenced old tradition of Filipinos. Hebrews 9:27 says, "...man is destined to die once and after that to face judgment." Having seen the door opened for the ministry among children and youth during the gathering of my brother's playmates on the first night's wake, my family decided to celebrate instead by inviting instead the kids here in the village street where we are residing right now and conducted a Gospel class.  Kids came from the neighborhood. My missionary friends Amber and Willow helped us  with singing Gospel songs and playing. Mama shared  the Gospel and invited them to receive Christ as their Saviour and LORD.

                    We did not expect that the first Gospel class will be followed by another. My parents prayed and decided to do the class every Saturday afternoon in our house. Almost every Saturday a new attendee comes, hears and receives Jesus as Savior. These kids enjoy the fellowship and the new vital things they learn from the Bible and about JESUS CHRIST. 

                   All the foregoing events gave comfort to our entire family. Although my little brother left us physically his death was never in vain. Much more, we know he is more than happy in God's presence now Seeing people who came to know and receive Christ because of what the world called a "tragic" incident is more than enough for us. The death of my brother is like a seed that fell to the ground and brought forth new life for many other Derek young and old. Truly, all things work together for good to those who love HIM. Praise HIM!

                       

PS.

Please continue to pray with us as we continue this ministry.

Pray for provision every Saturday, strength, patience

and more kids will come and receive JESUS and even the guidance
to go beyond our neighborhood to those disadvantaged, 
unfortunate children in other places of the city.

Thank you and GOD bless.

April-June Newsletter

                                SHALOM!!

The past three months was a roller coaster of emotions for me (and my family). But still HE remains faithful through it all. HE remains as a Father, comforter, friend and provider.
I was praying last year to be able to go and have a mission exposure in Northern Luzon. But April this year is a month of answered prayer and first time experiences. I praise GOD for HE has provided my needs to be able to go to Tabuk, Kalinga (10 hours bus trip from Manila) and had a work exposure in Abundant Grace Maternity Center (extension ministry of Mercy Maternity Center) and was able to visit a ButBut tribal village in Bugnay (3 hours bus trip from Tabuk) for 4 days.
 

I had a lot of  experiences specially that this is my first time going to a place where I don’t understand the dialect at all. But I was able to communicate (through Tagalog, which is the widely spoken dialect of the North but most of it was through sign language) and learned a little of Ilocano and ButBut dialect. Though we’re in the same country Philippines, but our nation has a lot of tribal dialects. Going up north was an amazing experience for me as a preparation for future plans. It was my first time eating their tribal dishes, hiking up and down the hills for three days (for an hour or more ) in a row just to be at the river banks and different places near the village, and riding on the roof of a bus from Tabuk to Bugnay and vice versa for 4 hours. Besides, I met a lot of new friends.  

I was amazed by how people lived simply in Bugnay as I was reared up and spent all my years in a metropolis. Yet GOD provided all their needs. It’s amazing how they give such importance to the thoughts and pieces of advice of their elders and how families (and extended families) helped each other to live.
 

After 2 weeks in Kalinga, we (me and Amber) visited a missionary friend who is working at Shiprah Birthing Center in Tikling, Taytay, Rizal (2hrs away from Manila). I was able to see different settings of assisting mothers in giving birth and visited the orphanage which is run by the same missionary organization operating the birthing center. It was an encouraging ministry to see babies and pregnant unwed mothers in difficult situations be saved and cared by people of GOD.
 

GOD has provided ALL my needs with this exposure both in character building, health and finances. GOD taught me how to deal with people of different culture and understand their way of living. HE has sustained me with good health and taught me to persever especially those long hikes under the heat. HE was my encourager! I appreciated life more than before. I was encouraged and thank GOD for everything HE has given me and allowed to experience for the past 23 years of my life.
 

Thank you very much for praying with me during this exposure. I appreciate your prayers, financial help and encouragements during this exposure.

Mama sobbing at the 
riverside.

I arrived Davao from Manila on April 30, just in time to celebrate my birthday on May 1 and my little brother¡¦s (Derek) birthday on May 3. I had no premonition or any alert that he'll go HOME to HEAVEN the next day. :(
 

I was having a bad day on May 4 due to heavy rain that caused me to arrive at the clinic late for my shift. I came back home around 3pm and was knocking at our door, wondering why my parents weren't there and noticed a police and 911 patrol car near my grandmother's house. Eventually when one of our neighbors noticed that I still don't know what happened, had the courage to tell me that my parents were at the river and that my little brother is still missing after being reported by friends of his drowning. Upon hearing it, I dropped all my things and rushed to the river, prayed while running to the site, making myself calm and assuring that the news was not true or my brother was rescued already and alive.
 

But as I was rushing to the site I saw Mama going up the dike, sobbing and following the flow of the river through the dike. Seeing her sobbing caused me to think that Derek is still missing. I wanted to shout, but GOD's spirit made me pray and refused to think negative thoughts that were coming into my mind. After the rescue team left and we¡¦re back at our house already, Papa decided to go back to the site where Derek fell. We spent the time singing warfare praise and worship songs. We prayed and declared victory over the evil spirits the residents here are so afraid of.
 

The next day was so hopeless. It is no wonder that none of us ever had a sleep and felt that a part of us is missing. We unsuccessfully requested the rescue team to make a follow up search of the river and riverbanks. My family felt helpless and hopeless at that time but so blessed with prayers from the community of believers. Our neighbors gave their helping hands during the 24_ hour search. They rented rubber tubes to look for my brother alongside the riverbanks. But before they did that they did a ritual without permission from us, they threw coins to the river accordingly ¡§to buy back¡¨ my brother from the evil spirits (stronghold) of the river. Their unsuccessful effort lasted till early evening. Our family continued to pray, restless physically but putting all our worries to HIM alone.
 

Our last family picture
together as 6.

The third day of waiting and further search came. My co-workers at the clinic helped me and contacted the coast guard while one of my aunts initially contacted the military for follow-up search operation. But GOD is so amazing! My Mom was restless and couldn't sleep that night until dawn. She was praying, crying and asking GOD for help to find Derek. By 6 a.m., my Grandma came insisting to my parents to give her my brother's pillow to be used for ritual again but they refused to do so and that made her so angry towards us because of our faith. After the lapse of few minutes, she came back telling us that a commercial radio station reported that a cadaver was found floating near Bankerohan bridge (almost close to Davao gulf). So we rushed to the place and kept praying to GOD that it was not my brother and that he is still alive.
 

We came to the place shocked with the physical appearance of the body. The body doesn't look like my brother, though the hands and feet appeared to be his. We kept on denying that it was him. As more and more people came and gathered around us, we decided to bring the cadaver to the funeral parlor and identify it there.

At the funeral home, we tried to look for a vital body mark, his scar on the right leg just below the knee as a result of an inch-long wound caused by an incision of a broken floor tile while playfully attending a kid birthday party. The scar shattered our attempt to deny any longer that he was my little brother Derek.
 

We’re all brokenhearted as we unceasingly sob of his physical separation from us. But still GOD is so good. He comforted us. Relatives, friends and a community of believers came all the way from distant places to manifest their support for us. GOD provided all our needs during the wake and internment. GOD still never left nor forsaken our family. He made us realize that He is wise, wiser than the combined wisdom of the six billion people on earth. No one can ever thwart His plans and purposes for each person to come to pass (Job 42:2). All the days ordained for each one are written in His book before one of them came to be (Ps.139:16). Be still, and know that I am God, says the Lord (Ps.46:10).
 

What pleases God most was that we were able to know a lot of our neighbors and Derek’s playmates. Because of what happened, we were able to share the Gospel to them and many received Christ as their Lord and Savior.
 

Though we missed the family’s apple of the eye (Derek), but GOD never missed to comfort us . To God alone be all the glory!!!!