27th

I am so grateful to GOD that despite  all the things that happened last year: a roller coaster of events, HE gets to give me another wonderful and exciting year. I am blessed to receive birthday wishes and greetings from friends all over the world. I get to have extended birthday celebrations also. My life group bought me doughnuts and put candles on it to blow on the night before my day.

I get to go out with Joem, Hannah and Argenne during "Labor Day" for movie and lunch. And an extention celebration on the next day with the other Filipino gang. They surprised me with a birthday cake at the videoke place.

I am looking forward to incredible events in my life this year. I know that GOD will continue to prune me and cut things that HE doesn't need to grow and take root in my life. There will be more people that I get to meet and learn with. Excited for what HE's going to unfold this year. I'm praying that I get to survive and continue to have the ears and heart that would listen and obey to whatever HE tells me to do. Even those things that doesn't make sense for me.

Psalm 139:1-18

You have searched me, Lord,

and you know me. 

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar. 

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways. 

Before a word is on my tongue

you, Lord, know it completely. 

You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence? 

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast. 

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,” 

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well. 

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be. 

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

How vast is the sum of them! 

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand—

when I awake, I am still with you.

I am reminded of these verses today. HIS Words give serenity to my troubled heart. 

Refined as GOLD

Growing up, I have heard so many sermons and illustrations about the life of Job. But this morning at church, I had the opportunity to listen and learn and be reminded from my friend's thoughts and point of view about this book in a distinct way. Not that he correlated it with a board game, a basketball and a cooking pot (admired his creativity though) but in a way where I was able to relate to what he conveyed completely. The life of Job never made a profound impact to my life until these last 4 years. Job has been an inspiration and has impacted me in a deeper way.

I grew up in a Christian home. Both my parents served actively at church before I was born. Majority of my days were spent serving at church together with my family. My life was house, school and church. (A part of my house was even rented for church building. So literally, I was living at church.) I could say that I was well-protected of pain and suffering. I had never felt so much pain until these last 4 years. I remember myself telling my parents that I was hesitant to share the Gospel to my friends since I couldn't relate to their experiences. However, GOD works things amazingly and surprisingly.


In the last 4 years, there were two things that have brought so much pain to me. My youngest brother died in a tragic way last May 4, 2011, a day after his 11th birthday. Here. He was drowned in the river close to the subdivision where we live. His body was found after 40 hrs of search and rescue in the Davao river. I was so wretched at that time. I didn't imagine that among all of us, he would go first, at a very young age. Three years after, my Papa passed away last October 2014 due to kidney complications. We were at the hospital for almost 2mos. Here. I had thoughts about it before, that one day GOD will call him back HOME but never thought it was in that way and it was sooner from what's desired. Brokenness and pain were so evident in my spiritual life at that time that though I constantly talk to GOD, but it was more about the pain that I felt towards what happened. I know death is inevitable but that was my #1 fear. Not that, I feared death but I was frightened with the pain, emptiness and longing that comes with it.

This verse has been a constant reminder
for the past 4 years.

Today's sermon reminded me that even Job, the most righteous and richest man in his time experienced pain. Experienced losses, not only one or two family members but the entire household in just one time event. Satan even inflicted physical ailment upon him. The worst thing was, he didn't have a friend who would encourage him during his mourning and grief. Even his own wife, discouraged him and told him to curse GOD. However, Job remained strong and faithful to HIM!! He surpassed the test and came out victorious. Because of his faithfulness, GOD replaced his losses far better than what he had. His story reminded me that GOD gives and takes away. We may never understand HIS ways and HIS plans BUT everything that HE does is always justified and fits HIS plans and purposes. It's definitely okay to ask GOD and pour out what I feel regarding a situation. Job's life is an assurance that I can come and lay down everything I feel and just be totally honest with GOD with the things that hurt and disappoints me. The last thing that reminded me was, GOD might have allowed suffering in our lives because of our faithfulness. The way we see ourselves is smaller, it is way better and greater from the person HE sees in us. HE always sees the bigger picture. HE sees mighty men and women of GOD who can surpass testings and trials and will come forth as GOLD refined by fire.

PS.
I don't normally show my appreciation to Jonathan's sermons, though most of them were really good ones. But this one was splendid and understandable!! I guess that, I was able to relate well with the thoughts he was delivering. He definitely did a great job. To GOD be the glory for his life. Way to go, brother!! :)

Learning to Listen

The last 2 months I have  been in a state of dilemma more than ever before of making a certain decision in my life. I have written and considered list of things I might do in the near future. However, the ambiguity is so strong that an inner prompting within me says to seek out what really GOD wants. 

Growing up, I know that my parents taught us to seek what GOD's will is then follow and obey whatever it is and leave the consequences to HIM. I know what that means. But, the list that I've made seemed to be that one of those is HIS will. It's just that I need to listen to HIM more, seek HIS will and do what I have to do for HIS glory whether I have to move or stay or jump on a cliff or cross raging seas. 

Two weeks ago, I went to a bookstore in one of the malls close to the place where I live here in Jakarta. I never thought that I would find this in the bookstore. In Jakarta, it's hard to find books that you really like specially Christian English books. They mostly translate it to their national language. It was a "lucky" day for me that I found Loren Cunningham's book "Is that really you, GOD?". I read this book 5 years ago when I was still working in the missions organization before but I was not able to finish it since a friend of mine was reading it as well. 

These are the following points I'm sharing with you that really impacted me and I'm praying to really apply these points effectively in the next few days.


1. Don't make guidance complicated.
          -Submit to HIS lordship.
          -Resist the enemy.
          -Expect an answer.
2. Allow GOD to speak to you in the way HE chooses.
          -This is really a bit of a challenge to me since as a human we tend to take over or
            tell GOD when it comes to timing to answer us immediately or in our own time.
3. Confess any unforgiven sin.
          -Cleansing is very important. Any hidden or unconfessed sin hinders us not from GOD
            to give us  answer but from listening and recognizing HIS voice.
4. Use the Axehead Principle. (2 Kings 6)
           -Going back to the place or the state where you last recognize and hear GOD's voice
             talking and guiding you clearly.
5. Get your own leading.
            -Third party is only a confirmation. You must hear HIS voice and receive HIS
              guidance first.
6. Don't talk about your guidance unless GOD tells you to do so.
             -This will help us avoid confusion and pride.
7. Use the Wise Men Principle.
             -GOD uses two or more spiritually mature and sensitive people to confirm HIS
               guidance for you.
8. Beware of counterfeits.
             -Things of value are worth counterfeiting.
9. Opposition of man is sometimes guidance from GOD.
             -I've proven this 3 yrs ago when I decided to move here in Jakarta. There were a lot of
              oppositions on the process of coming and staying here but GOD proved that to be
              HIS guidance and test of faith.
10. Every follower of JESUS has a unique ministry.
             -"The will of GOD is doing and saying the right thing in the right place, with the right
                 people, at the right time, and in the right sequence, under the right leadership,
                 using the right method, with the right attitude of the heart." -Janice Rogers
              -This statement really impacted me a lot. Prompted me to really be cautious in both
                seeking and sharing HIS guidance.
11. Practise hearing GOD's voice and it becomes easier.
               -The more you talk and spend time to someone, the easier you recognize the voice.
12. Relationship is the most important reason for hearing the voice of the LORD.
              -Spending more time in talking and reading HIS word helps a LOT!



I hope these points are helping you a lot. However, I strongly recommend to read the book for a profound and better understanding. May you be blessed and receive answers to whatever you've been seeking and waiting.


Prayer Concern:
*Please pray with me that I will have clear direction on what to do in the near future. Pray that I can grasp whatever GOD wants me to do with my life. 


Thank you so much and GOD bless more!

I am NOT taking my Salvation lightly!

I am so overwhelmed with GOD’s goodness and revelation and I’ve wanted to put these thoughts into writing when I got back from my trip in Salatiga. I’ve planned to put these realizations to help friends and other people who might be battling against sin.

As I was in the train travelling, I was talking to GOD in my thoughts and just wanted to be back on track again. I have been fighting and struggling so hard in the last quarter of 2014 due to all the overwhelming events that happened in my life, from personal issues and the passing away of the most important person in my life, my Papa. It really took a lot of me. I was very unstable!! I tried and really fought hard to put myself together again. People may have thought that I was so strong in facing Papa’s earthly passing. Honestly, I WAS NOT! I have looked up to him so much and so dependent in his opinion on every decision I take. His passing really shook me. I fought hard with sin!!

Self-pity, self-condemnation, prayerlessness, “Word-lessness”, pride and many more.

I’ve come up to a realization to fight and will never allow the enemy to take a hold of my life ever again. I must continue to firmly work out my Salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12) and defend HIS gift of Salvation. And never to allow satan to steal again another day of my life by believing in his lies.

GOD has orchestrated series of events this week that have pushed me to finally write these thoughts. Last Wednesday, in preparation to our life group topic for Thursday, I read Ephesians 4 and look up some commentaries to understand more about the chapter. This Sunday’s preaching also confirmed a lot of these thoughts. Ptr Lew did a great job with the sermon this morning. I couldn’t stop affirming to whatever he said while sitting.

I have learned more of GOD’s salvation from the previous chapters of Ephesians and in chapter 4, GOD has given us instructions of what to do with the free gift. I have understood more about HIS redemption and I believe that when we understand thoroughly the depth of what HE did for us on the cross we will fight for it and naturally want to serve HIM and do the right thing out of our gratitude. Understanding the enormity and the fullness of His death and resurrection will stop us from condemning ourselves (Roman 8:1). By condemning ourselves over and over again, it’s as if we are telling HIM that what HE did for us on the cross is not sufficient and something more must be done for our salvation.

“Christ death is sufficient to pay your sins in full. JESUS paid it all. To believe otherwise is to hold the position that JESUS’ shed blood was inadequate for your eternal life. No person in his right mind would go back to the bank to make a payment on a loan, discover that a benefactor had paid the loan in full and then argue to the teller that even though the debt papers were stamped “Paid in full” he still continue to make payments.”(An excerpt from John Piper’s Ebook)

I have yielded to the truth to live in the new life Christ has given me when I received HIS gift of Salvation (2 Cor. 5:17). To fight against pride and fully surrender myself in HIS arms. Accept that there’s nothing we need to do (Eph 2:8) and that there’s nothing we’ve done or we’ll do that can ever separate us from the love of GOD (Rom. 8:38-39).

Fighting against sin is honestly hard since we are in a deceitful and fallen world. Fighting with our flesh is laborious. We have to travail and make a choice to stand in HIS written WORD. One of those things my parents have kept reminding me over these years is to keep reminding myself of GOD’s promises whenever satan is trying to torment and attack me with his lies. (Psalm 119:11)

What does the BIBLE tell me about my identity in HIM? The following verses helped me a lot in this battle: John 16:33, Romans 8:17, 2 Corinthians 5:17 – I keep reminding myself of these truths. Be deeply rooted in OUR identity in CHRIST!! There are so many verses in the BIBLE about who we are in CHRIST. Use them as your armor to fight with those lies. Wallowing in the enemy’s lies will never add another day into our lives and it will never help us attain the fullness of who we are as the Heavenly King’s children. I have to keep holding HIS hands during this journey. I have to continue to watch and pray (Matt. 26:41). And remember that though HE has given us Salvation, HE also teaches us to be serious in running away from sin (Matt. 5:29-30). Every day is a war against sin that’s why the Bible said to watch and pray. (Matt. 26:41)

So CHOOSE HIM! CHOOSE JESUS! BELIEVE that HE has redeemed you out of that dark pit. Be assured and firmly trust in HIS promises!! Stop allowing the enemy to take a hold of your life. When you received JESUS CHRIST as your Lord and Saviour you’ve decided to put on that identity HE has for you. Redeemed and paid in full. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the strength and the courage to battle against sin and acknowledge that without HIS help you’ll never win this war. JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH! HE wants you to enjoy the fullness of the benefits of Salvation HE has given you.

Salatiga Trip

I have been procrastinating in updating my blog for the past months. I just couldn't have the mood I need to write and think of words. Haha.. Or in short, not only procrastinating... I was also lazy! That's it! 

This year entered greatly for me. I welcomed 2015 with my sisters in Christ. I travelled for 16hrs using 3 modes of transportation. Train-Bus-Car. I went to Salatiga, passing through Jogjakarta and Solo. This was my first long distance solo trip in almost 3 years in Jakarta. I decided to take this journey in order for me to unwind, reflect and contemplate on things that happened to me in the past year. I have also conquered I guess one of my fear and stepped out of one of my comfort zones through this travelling alone with limited Bahasa Indonesia. It was a fulfilling trip. Not only that I get to see different places in Jakarta but also, I was able to meet people on this trip. 

I was able to practise speaking my very limited Bahasa Indonesia with my seatmate on my train trip to Jogja. He was a man who accompanied his parents in going back to Semarang. I get to connect with her immediately in facebook. He has one son. It was so funny that he thought I was only 18 yrs old. However, asked me if I am married already or if I have a boyfriend in Jakarta. I tried my best to understand him as well. 

I arrive in Jogja around 5 pm and took a bus going to Solo. My friend from Davao, ate Liezle who is a missionary in Salatiga met me in one of the malls. The bus trip was an adventure. It was splendid!! I took a very ordinary bus and had gotten to observe and witness ordinary Javanese. I experienced their politeness first hand. One guy helped me and told the bus driver to pull over when I reached my destination. 

I arrived in Salatiga at 12 midnight and stayed in a missionary's house. Ate Liezle's friend, ate Novee, a missionary and a Filipina too, was house sitting. So I got to enjoy free accommodation. I got to meet also a Chilean missionary: Alejandra. She works with Wycliffe Bible Translation. I celebrated and welcomed 2015 with them. We get to pray for our families and thanked GOD for the year that passed and the days that will be unfolding. I enjoyed a lot with my short time in Salatiga to the extent that I wished that I don't want to go back to Jakarta. Hehe... 

Salatiga is a very serene place. I love its weather and pace. Refreshing place and low cost of living. Totally opposite from Jakarta. I get to meet 2 Javanese couple too. The guy drove is through Salatiga and Jogja's tourist spots.

I plan to come back in Salatiga again. And the next time I visit, I plan to stay a little longer and explore more of her beauty.